appointment.in.samarra

Ini adalah cerita pendek yang gue
baca waktu gue lagi beresin buku2 warisan dari Alm. Pakdhe gue di Semarang… Kalo ga
salah, bukunya judulnya College English, tebel, berat ( ditimpuk pake buku itu
pingsan-pingsan deh… hehehe ) dan isinya… bagus!

Awalnya gue kira buku ini isinya cuma grammar, vocab, punctuation… blah….
hal2 yang bakal bikin grammar police fugitive kaya gue lari terbirit2…

Tapi terus terang gue penasaran… siapa tahu buku itu emang layak baca…
lagian dibandingin dengan buku2 koleksi Pakdhe gue yang lain, buku satu ini
kondisinya paling bagus…

Dan setelah gw buka… ternyata… mulai dari short story, poetry, quotes,
speech, reading sampe writing… semuanya ada. Mulai dari Woolf, Joyce,
Hardy…

Iseng2 gue baca section short story… dan dari kalimat pembuka dan pengenalan
tentang cerita pendek. Para editor College English memutuskan untuk menampilkan
‘the appointment in samarra
sebagai cerita pendek pembuka…

I couldn’t believe it… short story ini cuma ambil tempat… 1/4 halaman!
itupun sudah dua kolom… gue balik halaman selanjutnya dan emang bener….
cerita pendek karangan W. Somerset Maugham ini emang irit tempat!…

Dan setelah gw baca cerita pendek yg bener2 pendek ini…. reaksi pertama gue
adalah ketawa ngakak!… dan setelah itu gue habis 6 batang rokok buat
kontemplasi…

the appointment in samarra

( w. somerset maugham )



There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his


servant to market to buy provisions and in a little


while the servant came back, white and trembling,


and said, “Master, just now when I was in the


marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the


crowd. And when I turned, I saw it was Death that


jostled me. She looked at me and made a


threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and


I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I


will go to
Samarra
and there Death will not find


me”.




The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant


mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and


as fast as the horse could gallop he went.




Then the merchant went down to the marketplace


and he saw the Death standing in the crowd, he


came to the Death and said, “Why did you make a


threating getsture to my servant when you saw him


this morning?”.




“That was not a threatening gesture”, the Death


said, “It was only a start of surprise… I was


astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an


appointment with him tonight in
Samarra“.

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a.bullet.whisper

a bullet whisper
[act. 1]

a young man… at twenty
something… thinks that he is the word master… tap dancing the finger on the
keyboard… imagining…

a man… at forty
something… thinks that his world is about to crumble… slow dancing the
finger on his head… wondering…

a woman… at thirty
something… thinks that she is beautiful… skate dancing the lipstick on the
mirror… agonizing…

a bullet… exact six
month… thinks that he is being ignored… swing dancing its tip on a palm….
waiting…

[ the young man ]

a 14″ monitor… a
grand CPU… a mouse… a keyboard….

a writer… an ash tray… a
cup of coffee… and a cell phone…

left side cheek… eyes
blinking… dancing fingers… and taping foot…

“I’m screwed… gotta figure
something out fast… com’ on… think dammit… think….”. He turns his head,
and then smiled. Putting himself in a slight comfort…. “Huff… I got 12 hour
before the deadline….”.

“I can do this…..”

[ the man ]

a revolver… a pulled
trigger… six chambers… and one bullet…

a driver… an ash tray… a
cell phone… and a lighted cigarette…

right side temple… both
eyes closed… trembling hand… and scrapped knee…

“I love her… no matter
what…. I do”. He swiftly pulls the trigger… “Damn… why he gave me this
heavy revolver anyway….”. Then he smiled as he saw his image reflected by the
shine on his revolver….

[ the woman ]

a lipstick… a bottle of
perfume… a mirror… a red gown…

a dancer… a glass of
whiskey… a ring… a scrap of paper…

around the neck… tired
eyes… soft skin… and crossed legs…

She dressed out for the
kill… “Should I tell him that I’ve made out my mind ??”. She nods her head in
slight determination. “Yes… I loved him too…” She has finished the writing
on the mirror…. it said “I QUIT !!!”

[ the bullet ]

a ring… a watch… some cold
sweat…a trembling hand…

a killer… a cleaner… a
shine… a reflection…

on a palm… cold… hard… and
ready to use…

It served only one purpose…
to tell the truth… and only the truth…

“Put me on my chamber… blaze
me away….see if I can serve you well…”

a bullet wishper [
act.2 ]

[ the young man ]

“they said that we…. can
be a God in a scrap of paper…”

“I’m in dead end…”

“I have the whole idea…
but I’m totally lost…”

“How am I going to end
this…?”

his fingers stop tapping the
keyboard, the young man is drown again in his deep contemplation…

[ the man ]

“I’m going to end it here…”

“Tonight… that monster is
going to die….”

The man smiled in grim
face…, he picks the bullet from his palm and licks the bullet…

“cold…”

He put the bullet into the
chamber… and aims the revolver at the wall…

[ the woman ]

She runs in a funny pacy
style… out to the street…

“I hope I’m not too late…”

“Taxi !!….”

“Redfield apartment!… On
the Coppinger St.!…”

[ the bullet ]

Back in the chamber…

“That man is using mint
toothpaste….”

a bullet whisper [
act.3 ]

[ the young man ]

“I’m running out of time…”

“So be it… I’m dying
anyway….”

He smiles… and then glances
forward…

An image stands in a gentle
gesture…

“At last… it is my time eh…?”

[ the man ]

He opens the door…

He is searching for someone…

“There you are…”

He walks forward… getting
closer….Now, they are face to face…

“Tonight… you’re going to
die….”

He aims for the heart…

[ the woman ]

“Oh… come on”

She slams the taxi’s
door…and run to the stairs…

“Please don’t do anything
stupid…”

A few more steps….

“I love you… only you… no
one else….”

She found the door is
already open…

And then she hears a sound
that made her heart almost stop beating…

[ the bullet ]

“Heh… finally… the moment of
truth…”

It flies… slicing the air…
it became an answer on its way…

BANG !!

a bullet whisper [
act. 4 ]

[ the young man ]

He falls upon his knee…

Coughing blood…. his body
has betrayed him…

Dying…

“……”

The death is kissing him
gently, yet sucking his life out in jealousy…

[ the man ]

Standing in a grim
satisfaction….

He turns his back…

Startled…

[ the woman ]

“NO…”

She stands in horror….

[ the bullet ]

“I whisper the truth…”

a bullet whisper [
act. 5 ]

[ the young man ]

He’s dead… but still
smiling….

His body has betrayed him…

His PC still turned on… The
monitor still displaying thousand words…

The cursor still blinks at
the last word he types…

The word was

“FINALE”

[ the man ]

“I killed that
monster….”

“That monster lives within
me…. “

He drops the revolver….

The large mirror is falling
into pieces….

“I love you….”

[ the woman ]

She glances at the
almost-hollow frame… shattered glass…

Scattered reflection… and
some sharp pieces still stay on the frame…

“I love you too….”

Almost fainted in grace…

“More than you’ll ever know….

[ the bullet ]

“And only the truth…”

naked.ambitious.alone

Barusan status gue di YM gue
ganti…. dr “nakedly ambitious… no. heartbreakingly alone… yes.

Gue lagi garap design buat iklan di KOMPAS sambil dengerin big machine-nya the
goo goo dools… ada liriknya… I’m torn in pieces… I’m blind and waiting
for you…

Dan gue ganti status gue di YM dengan line di atas…

What do you know…

Her name suddenly popped up on YM windows… N**** is online… Ini jelas
aneh… she’s definitely home… dan bbrp detik setelah itu… N***** is
offline…

I try to comprehend
things… I wanted to say hi… but I couldn’t…

And somewhere inside my left
chest… is literally hurting…

Dik… You’re right. Poignant nostalgia
did made me nauseous…

good.constant.things

I’m growing up. And eventho
as skeptical as I may often sounds. I too have desires… I want things. Lots of
things. But I do fear relationship… I guess there is some part in my past that
up until now, still, sticks on you like a tail…

So… it may sounds ironic
when I’m encouraging one of my friend to try and have a go on a new
relationship. ( ini terjemahan bebas… gw juga agak2 lupa ini postingan yg
dimana… hehe )

what are you
afraid of sis? chin up…

what am I afraid
of bro? Lotsa things… I mean. He’s unreachable bro… We’re both are on totally
different level. And look at me… what am I?

I’m very aware
that I don’t have the vast wisdom when it deals with
-take-a-shot-and-get-a-boyfriend- things. and i don’t give compliment easily.
but u’re gorgeous.

and fear is not gonna take us anywhere sis… gw
jelas ga kenal cowo ini. tp apa dia liat lo cuma dr muka aja? ato lo kerja
dimana? ato lo anak siapa? com’on… hari gini?

Okay… Look who’s talking… me. yea. the dude who flew from jogja to jakarta. just for a kiss goodbye.

Lalu dia
ngomong soal hoping… she just hopes…

i would like to
believe that he’s interested but like i said, i dont want to get my hope high.
just incase it turns out the opposite i wouldnt be so hurt.

Lalu gue jadi mikir… hope
supposta keep you alive right? Terus kenapa bisa jadi sesuatu yang nyakitin
kita? Apa mungkin awalnya kita emang hoping… terus lama kelamaan kita
jadi expecting?

hope is hope. It differs
from expectation. Similar things, but, faulty result from expectation does more
damage than hope. At least I think so…

Salah satu alasan kenapa gue akhirnya hapus sms terakhir dari dia,
adalah pada akhirnya gue lebih memilih untuk berhenti berharap. I love her too
much to even let my hope slip into worthless expectation… or even worse… hatred.

Mungkin pertanyaan yang
timbul adalah; why did I hold on that memory for too long?”

The answer is
simple…

Seperti apa yg
gue udah omongin di atas, I too have desires. I have love and affection from my
family, my friends, even my on-line buddies… No matter what, they will be
there for me… They are the good constant things in my life. But at some
point where loneliness shouts; I just realize that maybe it’s never enough…

And then she came into my
life… Things happened, ups and downs… Skipped heartbeats when the cells beep on
incoming calls or text… miss yous. loves yous. hate yous…

But nevertheless, she became
another good constant thing in my life… And back then, I was the happiest man
on earth…

Dan mungkin gue
sendiri pingin tetep jadi the happiest man on earth. Sampe gue akhirnya sadar,
One of the good constant thing in my life… is gone.

But come to think of
it… I didn’t loose everything. Still got my family, friends, ol-buddies…
multipliers… hehehe

I guess that’s it. My
not-so-proper explanation.

Now… I’m stuck… And I need
brainstorming…

PS:

What’s the good constant thing in your life?

speak.your.words

Loving
someone… is hanging your sanity on a thread.

You may try to find any logical reason… But you couldn’t…

But when people asked; why are you insanely hanging your sanity on a thread?…
You know one answer… It’s because loving someone… is the only sanity that
framed your insanity…

Why?… because it’s not who?, why?, when?, what?, where?…. it’s only
“how”…

How do you love?…

and
they commented…

Can’t tell you how’s the perfect way to love…but just…keep alert…

Love is
not enuff only by the heart…coz when your mind is not in to it…your brain
stop processing all the facts…then…the biggest storm will suddenly come and
wipe us up from the ground…

Trust
me..I’ve been there. I trust that…you’ve also been there.

Been in
tears, sliced heart…

:)…Love
suppossed to be beautiful, aight? So what da f*ck are tears doin there?

*giggling*

tears?….

I
don’t see any tears… Anyone? hehehe

Well said. I like it. I understand it alot…

I know you do…

*hugs*

wow…such a deep thought!!

Hi, Pa
kabar ?

Posted by: fatriya
| June 13, 2005 02:29 AM

still
trying to be okay!… how r u?

I
miss talking to you!

how do you love?…

so yani… how do you love?

[giggling]

Posted by: ilmi | June 29, 2005 02:05
PM

how do I love?

Er…
I lost my last piece of how to… LOL

someday you will.. everybody will… found the last piece of it.. dont loose hope..
dont loose expectation… just have faith. you’ll found someone special… God
have kept it specially for you ^^

Then I have to quit being skeptical… But how on earth I would do that?

I’m a
skeptical bastard… and look… everybody seems to have fun!!… LOL

bwuhahahaha… well.. how should i said… a part of us
are optimistic and part of us are skeptical and other part fills with other
opinions and stuff… join together and become we… sometime we are skeptic
and sometime we are optimistic and others..

seiring dengan perjalanan waktu dan pengalaman akan ada perubahan pada diri…
^^

I wish everything was as simple as things that came
out from our mouth. But it didn;t. It never did… Some ppl are more determined
to seek for meanings. Eventho that would make them stamped as freaks…

I am
freak… LOL