I’m growing up. And eventho
as skeptical as I may often sounds. I too have desires… I want things. Lots of
things. But I do fear relationship… I guess there is some part in my past that
up until now, still, sticks on you like a tail…

So… it may sounds ironic
when I’m encouraging one of my friend to try and have a go on a new
relationship. ( ini terjemahan bebas… gw juga agak2 lupa ini postingan yg
dimana… hehe )

what are you
afraid of sis? chin up…

what am I afraid
of bro? Lotsa things… I mean. He’s unreachable bro… We’re both are on totally
different level. And look at me… what am I?

I’m very aware
that I don’t have the vast wisdom when it deals with
-take-a-shot-and-get-a-boyfriend- things. and i don’t give compliment easily.
but u’re gorgeous.

and fear is not gonna take us anywhere sis… gw
jelas ga kenal cowo ini. tp apa dia liat lo cuma dr muka aja? ato lo kerja
dimana? ato lo anak siapa? com’on… hari gini?

Okay… Look who’s talking… me. yea. the dude who flew from jogja to jakarta. just for a kiss goodbye.

Lalu dia
ngomong soal hoping… she just hopes…

i would like to
believe that he’s interested but like i said, i dont want to get my hope high.
just incase it turns out the opposite i wouldnt be so hurt.

Lalu gue jadi mikir… hope
supposta keep you alive right? Terus kenapa bisa jadi sesuatu yang nyakitin
kita? Apa mungkin awalnya kita emang hoping… terus lama kelamaan kita
jadi expecting?

hope is hope. It differs
from expectation. Similar things, but, faulty result from expectation does more
damage than hope. At least I think so…

Salah satu alasan kenapa gue akhirnya hapus sms terakhir dari dia,
adalah pada akhirnya gue lebih memilih untuk berhenti berharap. I love her too
much to even let my hope slip into worthless expectation… or even worse… hatred.

Mungkin pertanyaan yang
timbul adalah; why did I hold on that memory for too long?”

The answer is

Seperti apa yg
gue udah omongin di atas, I too have desires. I have love and affection from my
family, my friends, even my on-line buddies… No matter what, they will be
there for me… They are the good constant things in my life. But at some
point where loneliness shouts; I just realize that maybe it’s never enough…

And then she came into my
life… Things happened, ups and downs… Skipped heartbeats when the cells beep on
incoming calls or text… miss yous. loves yous. hate yous…

But nevertheless, she became
another good constant thing in my life… And back then, I was the happiest man
on earth…

Dan mungkin gue
sendiri pingin tetep jadi the happiest man on earth. Sampe gue akhirnya sadar,
One of the good constant thing in my life… is gone.

But come to think of
it… I didn’t loose everything. Still got my family, friends, ol-buddies…
multipliers… hehehe

I guess that’s it. My
not-so-proper explanation.

Now… I’m stuck… And I need


What’s the good constant thing in your life?